drarna:

i may not be your cup of tea but i’m your 10th shot of tequila

(Source: neptunain, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

bahboh:

the police officer looks down at his tummy and says “you are under a vest” and giggles to himself

(Source: bepeu, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

krook:

Let me call you my good girl while I choke you and make you cum

(via intellectualdifference)